My friend J decided that she wasn’t living the life she wants. To change this, she put together a comprehensive list of goals, big and small, hoping that the very attempt of trying to achieve these goals will change her life. I think it is working.
This–this writing thing, this blog–this is my attempt to do similarly. Except instead of writing a list of things that I want to do, ways I want to change my life, I’m just going to focus on retelling my daily stories in a way that helps remind me that I AM living the life I want. The best stories are strewn with surprises, brimming with excitement (and even perhaps some hyperbole). While I promise never to lie, I want to spin my own life in a way that will help me own it.
Case in point: our wedding.
On one hand, our wedding was a disaster. The night before, P and I got into the worst fight we ever had. I blew up at my bridesmaids and woke up with puffy eyes. We had the wedding outside in grey, 50-degree weather. It was so cold, the entire bridal party (in strapless dresses) was shivering. As soon as we dismissed for the reception, which we had planned on being a casual affair with seating all around the garden, it started to rain. Everyone packed under the lone tent and into the crowded house. We ate our first meal as a married couple in the upstairs bathroom.
On the other hand, our wedding was a resounding success. P and I had a huge fight the night before, but woke up on our wedding day SURE, despite it all, that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. My bridesmaids, knowing that I was an emotional wreck, woke up extra early and set up the chairs and decorations outside even before I got up for the day. It was beautiful. The bridesmaids strung Chinese lanterns in the trees, used fabric I had found in Thailand as bunting for the chairs, and placed two trees on loan from a local nursery at the end of the “aisle.” Our wedding day was in the 50s–our favourite temperature. Because it was a cool, cloudy day, the conditions were perfect for taking pictures. We had friends and family come from several different countries and many states for our wedding. True to our personalities, the wedding was about as unfussy as you can get. People spilled in and out of the house, wandered around the gardens, and splashed in the puddles. It was quirky, fun, and certainly memorable.
When people ask about our wedding, I can tell either of the stories above. I can either say “It was miserably cold and chaotic” or I can say “It was crazy fun and very much ‘us’.” Neither would be lies but practicing having the latter response has slowly but surely changed my own memories of our wedding. I now look back on that day much more fondly. And it’s only been four years. Imagine how effective twenty more years of positive reminiscing will be!
So yeah. Here we go.